Morgan Update: Dec 26, 2013 — A Sad Farewell

Winter 2013

Morgan, Dec. 26th. The joy is gone. It’s time.

The last thing I want is to bring a negative vibe to a festive time of year, but because so many of my readers are heavily invested in Morgan’s well-being, I wanted to let you know that we had to set him free this morning. It was the best gift we could have given him, but couldn’t compare with the gift he gave us; the gift of himself.

It was plain that although we did what we could to support him in his battle with lymphoma, that it was not going to enable him to stay with us any longer. His quality of life took a nose-dive these past couple of days and we are not so selfish that we would keep him hanging around to defer the pain of his exit.

On December 24th I was sitting next to him on the patio and he slammed my hand with his beefy paw the way he does, but hadn’t for some time. The slam means, “please ________”. This please, along with the look he gave me said, “Please let me go.”

Morgan stayed to see family and friends for Christmas, enjoyed the extra attention and love showered on him, and his last supper consisted of banana with peanut butter and our Christmas ham, which he thought was heavenly.

In this context, there are two kinds of people in this world; those who love dogs, and those who don’t. There are people who read this blog who have never met Morgan but poured their hearts out with love, shed tears for him and offered free medicine and healing.

As incomprehensible as it seems to those who have melded our soul with that of a dog, or if you’re really lucky—many dogs—there are those in this world who see dogs, cats, and other animals as domesticated creatures with a purpose. I’ve had this conversation with people before and they are usually from a farm.

They feel that when animals are no longer able to fulfill their purpose they are relatively unemotionally discarded. If they get sick, it’s their time to go. They don’t spend much on vets to help prolong their life—and certainly not oncologists or fancy urns. They think that’s insane.  They can come across as hard-hearted, but they aren’t—they simply can’t empathize with an experience they’ve never had. Their programming is in place.

I feel sorry for anyone who has never loved a dog. There is no substitute in my opinion, and I’ve lost two previously over the years; an Alaskan Malamute and another Golden Retriever; a rescue dog, who I named after the angel Gabriel. Dogs are the ultimate life lesson and we would do well to emulate them.

Morgan at 6 weeks

Morgan at 6 weeks

Dogs come into the world and live every day in joy if given a half decent life. They don’t plan ahead, they don’t feel remorse for the past. They simply live in the moment and give every moment their best.

They don’t complain, even when in pain, and adapt to any situation and usually even new owners.

They love unconditionally. Even abused dogs love their masters while at the same time fearing them. They forgive and forget.

Anyone reading this is probably an animal lover, and understands that dogs are to be revered. A dog is NEVER “just a dog”, is it?

And yes… for childless couples their pets often ARE their children and there is no difference except in the minds of some people who have never experienced that connection. Children and pets are both innocent, dependent, and full of joy when they come into our lives.

Either all conscious beings on this planet and throughout the Universe are One or we are not. There is no half way.

I’ve lived in two neighbourhoods now where dogs and dog-people rule. Dogs are valued members of the community and have their own social circles. They have friends of both sexes and some just “click” on sight.

We spend whatever it takes to heal their ills. Walks are twice daily, vet visits are routine. We may not know the neighbours’ names but we sure know the names of their dogs.

When we bring a pet home we take on the responsibility for their welfare. We pledge an oath to care for them as best we can, to nurse them when they’re hurt, to feed them good food and water, to play with them, exercize and love them and make them feel safe. Caring for them gives us purpose.

They need purpose, too. Teaching them things and demanding obedience are part of that. Dogs rely on the alpha leader of the pack to make the right decisions for the safety of all.

Morgan took his guard dog duties very seriously, brought in the mail or the newspaper in exchange for a baby carrot, and learned to dive to the bottom of our 8-foot pool to ‘rescue’ a baby doll, and later, a toy.

We doggie-people love to buy our pets toys, collars and leashes, beds and sometimes a cute little hat, sweater or some boots to protect their fuzzy feet from ice-balls.

09Jul2011_DWe take them boating, camping, dining al fresco, to friends’ homes, and share our swimming pools with them. We take them to the spa for a shampoo, pedicure, and perhaps a bow or a bandana. We buy them Christmas gifts and celebrate their birthdays. They are part of the family and every bit as important as human relatives.

I have friends who made their rottweilers ring-bearers at their wedding, and one who took her little pocket dog to see Santa this year. Crazy? Maybe so—but we recognize the value of “man’s best friend” and live our lives accordingly and are so much richer for it.

Research shows that people with a dog live a little longer than those without. Petting a dog (or cat) provides stress-reduction and relaxation similar to meditation.

Many dogs make the rounds at nursing homes as therapy for the elderly. Dogs can bring peace to an otherwise turbulent  and fearful world.

Have you ever wondered if it’s a coincidence that DOG spelled backwards is GOD?

Morgan was everything to us. He was our teacher and our student. He healed us, and we often healed him. He even healed other people. Our life revolved around our ‘son’.

Morgan as WhiteoutOur baby boy had his ‘last hurrah’ three weeks ago. He knew.

He did the long walks to our old haunts, went swimming at the lake and looked out the window at the spectacular scenery of the Superstition Mountains all the way home for the first and last time.

These past 36 hours he dragged himself outside to take care of business, then collapsed on the ground, his hind legs unable to support him. He never made a mess in the house. He was selfless, and if he could muster it, did what we asked. Many times had to be carried—all 83 pounds of him.

We fed him by hand whatever he would eat and brought his water dish to him afterward.

That is no life for anyone—much less a dog. As soon as the veterinary hospital opened after the holiday, we were there and our vet moved her scheduled surgery to accommodate us.

Morgan is a very special soul. Our vet wouldn’t have been in tears, otherwise. She’s known Morgan for almost nine years and she loved him the moment she met him. They had a special bond, despite her having (at last count) 14 dogs of her own because she couldn’t bear to euthanize them.

To everyone who shared suggestions to beat lymphoma and sent love and healing energies and prayers—thank you. It helped, but we can only do so much.

It was Morgan’s time, after bravely battling his cancer for nearly 18 months, and now he’s home. In joy. In love. In Light. And soon to reconnect with us. He has ‘slipped the surly bonds of Earth’, in high flight. His soul is soaring through the ethers.

I don’t know if I could even accept that he is gone if I hadn’t held his limp body in my arms one last time.

Lens flare or Morgan's spirit the day he diedHere is a photo my mother took with her iPad a few minutes ago in a “photography lesson” from my other half. Incredible. I wanted to stay at the vet’s long enough for Morgan’s soul to leave his body, and here it is, right here with us. Normally my hubby the photographer would have said that was lens flare, but he asked me if I saw what was in the photo before I said anything. He knew. He grew tremendously from this painful experience.

Kudos to anyone who is battling pet cancers or other illnesses on behalf of their beloved friends. You are healing angels. Morgan was OUR healing angel, and no one who knew him would be able to say, “He’s just a dog.”

42 thoughts on “Morgan Update: Dec 26, 2013 — A Sad Farewell

  1. Thanks for sharing. Love the last picture of Morgan’s spirit in our home.

  2. I am so, so very sorry for your loss. I was crying everytime I read a new post, and urging him and you on when he was doing ‘better’, silently sending reiki for his highest good. Having had to euthanize four-legged family members from gerbils to horses, I know that this is an unspeakably difficult time, and I send all manner of light, love and more positive energy for you and your family at this most heartbreaking time. Please forgive the misspellings – it is hard to see the screen through the tears.

    Namaste! -Donna

  3. ROGÉRIO SALVADOR says:

    … Hi there , all the way from Lisbon – Portugal , I just came across your fabulous “”article “” dedicated to your Baby Morgan … may he Rest In Peace .. … and what a beautiful life story you have , as Morgan´s Family … I have the same opinion , Animals are just Loving Angels in our midst to make ours a better World … and yes once we get involved they are FAMILY … unfortunately many Humans don´t think that way or have the insight to understand those who do … a little consolation , Im sure Baby Morgan , is somewhere at Peace and amidst Love and Friendship …and one day you shall all be United … take care all … Life does go on for those who still have Lives … lets try while we are here to make ours a better World for All … in the Company , Love and Friendship of All Animals … take care all the best … RSLS

  4. Darrell says:

    Bless you all! While I know that Morgan’s job here was at an end, I hope you never forget all that he came to teach you. I lost an Irish Setter very suddenly, only because she knew I could not handle a prolonged illness at that time in my life, and I know and feel your pain. Hold on with all your strength to all your memories of him as each and every one of them are treasures that have blessed your life in so many ways.
    Blessings galore
    Darrell

  5. katsdogs says:

    I’m SO feeling your pain, having three of my special dog-children in heaven, and can identify with everything you said in your beautiful tribute to your dear dog. I agree that God put animals here for us to be stewards for them, to care for them, but you and I know they teach us so many things, most of all to LOVE, (tho I don’t know many humans who can measure up to a dog’s love). Dogs are as much stewards for us as we are for them. Dogs are one of God’s most precious gifts (I REALLY believe the MOST precious, but then, I’m one of THOSE people)! You are in my thoughts and prayers, and maybe, if you’te inclined to, seek out Joannara Fox, animal communicator, (messages from animals.com). God bless you and your family, Love, Kat

  6. cie cie tillett says:

    I am so sorry for your loss of Morgan..I learned to know him through your beautiful stories..I know your pain..CC Tillett

  7. Jeanne L Desmond says:

    Just a quick note to send my sympathy on your loss, I have been there just like you J, and believe it or not I still on different occasions see them (a glimmer) a quick blur and I know it is them saying hi, we are here J. Morgan was and is well loved, he is in a better place J maybe playing with my dogs, sounds silly I know. I do feel your loss.

  8. fancyideas says:

    I shared your tears, and then a smile. He is free now, frolicking in fragrant meadows, splashing across streams, and lying in the warm sun – dreaming of the people who loved him so – and, most especially, remembering YOU. God bless.

  9. Demitra M. N. says:

    Your news is simply heartbreaking, but then, I think that’s the point of this kind of grief. A great Love, freed in Spirit, is nothing short of overwhelming as it comes rushing in on those of us who are open to it’s life value and importance. Thank you so much for sharing, not only your story with us, but also the beauty of compassion as it unfolded between the two of you (it was hard to tell who suffered more, you or Morgan) in doing so, the news of his passing has swept thru my heart, cracking it open wider still, and making room for more love to enter-in.

    Thank you.
    And thank you, Morgan.

  10. pamz@mac.hush.com says:

    I am so sorry. I think deep down inside, that some more than others know that feeling of freedom that wisps through us in a blissful moment. It is the same hintful feeling (knowing) that, that is what it feels like to be set free from our shells and what we came here to do and learn – love. Seems you both did it well and now the Light has become brighter and more powerful. May seem like a grain of sand in the box, but that grain if looked at close enough is a world within itself.. Thankfully we do not remember our death. Pam Sent using Hushma

  11. amras888 says:

    I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing Morgan’s story; and his wonderful spirit photograph.

  12. Celeste Brunetti says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I read the Morgan updates faithfully, and prayed for a miracle. I am truly sad beyond words. I often wondered how I would feel if I opened an e-mail one day, and found out Morgan was gone. I’m sorry I opened this e-mail and read it because my heart is broken. Sending Love to you in between sobs….

  13. riverrose1@verizon.net says:

    I am so sorry for your loss of your friend and member of your family, Morgan. I Know first hand how painful the loss is. You loved him and took such wonderful care of him. You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.

  14. I lost my dog Lucy 2 years ago so I know something of what it is like to lose a much loved companion, I loved your dog even though I never knew him, I loved his photographs, especially the puppy one, and I loved hearing about him, I shall miss him too – My love and prayers go out to you and your family, until you are reunited again………

  15. Almut Tolkien says:

    When I saw the last picture of Morgan, I thought …..let him go….. it was so clear that his time had come.
    I let my beautiful companion go 3 years ago and I am now smiling with love each time I think of him …we had 13 years together. It seems that each time one of those beautiful souls moves on, our lives takes on a new direction. I am still with dog (again a rescue), very much loved, yet some of them are so VERY special……like your Morgan.
    My heart goes out to you.

  16. robert says:

    You were a great friend to Morgan! as he was for you.

  17. shirleythehealer1 says:

    So sorry for you loss.

    Pets are family members and just as hard to lose as a child.

    Date: Thu, 26 Dec 2013 22:43:43 +0000 To: shirleythehealer1@hotmail.com

  18. I follow your blog – and even though I am not blessed as a doggie mom now – I have had several dogs, and so appreciate your beautiful sentiment expressed so eloquently. Thank you!

  19. janetleem says:

    We blessed our old black spaniel on his way this fall too. What wonderful companions our 4 leggeds are! Thanks for letting us know about Morgan. Hugs, Janet Lee Meisinger Colorado

  20. Kathy says:

    Even when you know it is the kindest thing you can do for your friend it is difficult. I’m sure Morgan appreciates your courage and love – that love will live forever. RIP Morgan.

  21. Michaelene says:

    I am very sorry to hear about Morgan.. I have followed your blog for the last 18 months, and prayed he would get better..May memories be of some comfort..You were a wonderful Mom to him..

  22. mysterylive2012 says:

    MAHALOHA

  23. Lori says:

    I feel some of your sadness. It took 5 tissues just to read the post. We all know that Morgan is much happier now; it’s the parents who are heart-broken. I wish you and your husband peace and love.

  24. dawn says:

    I wanted to let you know that Morgans spirit will find you again, when he is rested and healed. This happened to our family , just 3 weeks ago. A small black kitten walked into our house, literally, and took our breath away. This little kitten is exactly the image of our family pet that we lost a couple of years ago. Same loving spirit, same eye colour, same weighty form.We do not know where this kitten has come from..she just arrived. Of course it is far too early for you to contemplate any of this…I just felt I should share my story.
    If you would like me to send you Reiki for your sorrow, I would welcome the chance to try to aid you. Also , maybe Bachs rescue remedy could be useful for a time.
    Much love, Dawn.

  25. Lee says:

    This is a very warming loving (yet so sad) tribute to Morgans life. We have been there too with our white Golden (and two others). Your ‘child’ is playing over the Rainbow Bridge with pep and vitality. He’s prancing, smiling, fetching and is in his Father Gods’ hands. Bless he and your family. My sympathies are with you. Your wonderful parents. Morgan was blessed that you chose him.

    God (dog) Bless

    >

  26. Nordic says:

    I am sorry for your loss, but as you know, you will meet again. Some sunny day. That being said, I was not able to read the post fully, asI know how much one can love a dog. I have one, and have had one before. He died almost 15 years ago, butI still see dreams where he visits.

  27. antoniatailor says:

    thank you for sharing … I’ve been expecting it for some time, although I would send Morgan Love and healing… but I felt his look, and he was telling me otherwise. I love all the photos, and the one with Morgan’s spirit in particular. When one of my animal friends died some years ago, my alarm-clock stopped. It started running again sometime in the afternoon of the same day, and I knew she was gone… Love and Light to you, Antonia

  28. luckypenny51 says:

    I am so sorry about Morgan. I have just seen the last couple of blogs but I knew in his face he was a special dog. I was a farmer, a dairy farmer and I have cried over a my animals that died. Cows are not as smart as dogs they don’t have that kind of personality but being a farmer doesn’t make it any easier when you lose any kind if animal. I have cried over turtles, birds, horses, calves cows goats, cats and even chickens. Dogs do have a special place in our hearts because they sleep in our houses and in our beds and go on long walks and play ball. I’m sorry about your Morgan and after you get over you go out and get another puppy to love. It won’t be like Morgan but when your ready there will be another dog that needs love and can breach that love that you just lost.

  29. Lidy vdf Maathuis says:

    Thank you so much for sharing! I have thought about you these days and how Morgan would be doing… Love is about letting go, let one free. But when the moment comes you have to part from someone you deeply love, there is also the feeling of incredible pain. As if a part of your self died. And it possibly did… I never forget I read somewhere on the internet that an elder from a very old ancient tribe said that animals are just another human personality in a different body with a different experience! And so I believe it is… animals are the same soul as a human being, with just another experience. No doubt you all will miss him a lot… my heart is with you! Lidy

  30. Caroline says:

    So sorry and so sad. He will always be a beautiful soul. He was lucky to be your boy. Sending <3

  31. John says:

    I am sorry for your loss. As long as you have Morgan in your heart, you will always be together. God Bless.

  32. manventure1 says:

    My heartfelt love is with you and your family.

  33. Christi says:

    Tears and hugs for you!

  34. susan says:

    I have been following Morgan’s story for some time now. Sending you love, love, love to help heal your hearts….

  35. Kay says:

    So sorry to hear of Morgan’s passing. I know what it’s like to lose a beloved pet but it must be doubly hard at this time of year. He is no longer ill and he had a good life. XX

  36. Hans says:

    I am so sorry for your loss, Morgan will always be with you, sending you love from the Netherlands for you and your family.

  37. Wildheart says:

    I am so sorry, dear Sister. We will meet and talk after your family leaves, and I will still bring a bottle (or two) of colloidal silver in the “Morgan” bottle. It will be just one more reminder that Morgan will be looking after you, still. xxoo Sherry

  38. Cecy says:

    Wow I just read the whole story it really broke my heart, I’m sorry he got ill and that he had to go, I cried when I saw Morgan’s 8 weeks old pic, god bless him and bless you n your family, w all my heart

  39. Anonymous says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I too have lost my very best friend ever. He was a Jack Russell. They are my best of the best dogs so after 2 yrs that past I started to look for another Jack. I just couldn’t find the one I wanted. Then it seemed I couldn’t find any and I wanted a dog, and so I rescued a dog and it surprised me since I said I would never want a chihuahua, I wanted a Jack. Well I ended up with Harley Coyote which after a DNA test is chihuahua, American Foxhound and Brittany Cross. Now everyone is telling me about all the Jacks they saw, a little to late, but what I want to say is, Harley needed me, he is most loveable and loves me more that any one. So what I wanted to say, is sometimes we are blessed with a dog that needs us more than the breed we love and want. I would always be comparing Frasier to the Jack I got instead of loving the dog for who it is. May you find the right one for you and know Morgan is still with you, they never leave you. He is there with you every moment loving you as always.

  40. Amber says:

    This post brought tears to my eyes. Three days ago we learned that our beautiful 3 year old golden has lymphoma. It has been very difficult to deal with the 2-3 month diagnosis. All of it happened so quickly. Thank you for your post to keep us informed on what to expect in these trying days.

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